Thursday, May 7, 2009
We play chor chor
Like our house is a fort.
We run around in two teams gleefully
My Ma and I
But at every turn
I find myself
Lodged in the bedroom with Papa.
The door closes
And he zips open his pants
Ramming me under him.
My blue frock is torn
Knickers hanging down my straddled leg
As I scream for my Ma.
She is outside listening
I know my Ma
She cheated again.
I can hardly write
I am overcome
I am floating away in some colourful spectrum
Of no thoughts and no masks.
There is a smile lingering and am continuously finding it
And continuously losing it.
I am playful
On a swing.
Running through sprinklers
Lying on my bed listening to the sea.
You make me so happy.
I am laughing for no reason and all reason
As if on an inside joke.
I am touching a little more
Feeling a little more.
I am more here than somewhere else
Feeling my hair and nails grow.
You make me so happy,
When you are happy.
That is all it takes my friend
Share a smile with me, sometime
The hair like frills on a dressy frock
She powdered her face
As to even the wrinkles
She began to redden her lips
But gave away halfway
Rubbing off the scarlet off her pale face
There was no need to bother
Time was on her side now -
The cherished anniversaries and the running children
The secret kisses and the sunshine
The snow and the smoky cinema halls
The huge family and the loud music
The tattered photographs and the attentive husband.
Her face was a map
Every gnarled fold
Was a brief lifetime
She looked at herself
And could not help but notice
A crimson blush on her smiling face
I was 9 steps away from the TV.
We were watching a show about sharks
The one we were not supposed to.
Abby was slow and purring
The way she gets when I give her all my food.
Suddenly there is knocking
There is not supposed to be knocking.
I want my mummy
Or is it she outside?
I raise myself off the couch
Walk 34 steps towards the door.
At the 14th step I stop
The knocks are getting louder
Like a hammer ramming into my brain
Abby and I know then it’s not mummy.
Foreboding shadows loitering outside the door
Abby rubs herself at my legs, slow and purring
The way she gets when she knows I am afraid
But she struts ahead brave and sure.
I follow her trail
I am 11 steps away from the door
When Abby raises her head
Scratches at the door and roars like a lion.
Its 2:27 pm I clearly remember
When Abby puts me to bed
She licks her paws
And places herself next to my wild beating heart.
in my first black short dress.
Walking three inches higher than myself
I have left my spectacles at home.
I smile broadly at alien faces
until I notice you and her.
I tremble and heave
as you look at me.
You let go of her arm
and walk towards me.
I almost smile
Before you say
“Don’t try so hard,
You are just not as beautiful.”
“Brown or white?” Sujoy wondered. He made a quick call to Anjali. “White bread,” she said nonchalantly as if she were expecting the call.
Sujoy smiled. He was lucky to have a wife who could read his mind. His smile broadened as he decided to get her roses for the first time since their wedding.
In their small apartment, Anjali was tutoring their 18-year-old neighbor Jason who had failed his physics exam again. However, her mind was elsewhere, ripe for another deep-set depression. Her predictable marriage was suffocating her. Her world was dizzy as she moved in to kiss Jason.